DeziGal

In the past 18 months, several friends have had babies, are having them, or are trying to have them. The little munchkins are invading my life – on facebook, on the fridge, in the mail, on email, and at dinner parties (where have all the babysitters gone?). I understand, it’s a big step and it’s a big joy and it changes your life forever, AND that you wouldn’t trade it for anything. I sort of get it, but doesn’t mean I want to hear about it ALL the time. Little details about burping, breastfeeding, diapers, cognitive development, are all great, but could we please also have an adult conversation for a change. Vur and I were at a party recently, where the men and women slowly segregated in their own groups. The moms spoke over each other in efforts to prove their parenting style, completely oblivious that a non-mom had nothing to contribute other than half a smile. I was desperate to join the men as they discussed the elections and thought, "if I don’t have kids I will be relegated to befriending their husbands or making new friends."

That conversation, made me feel that just because I am not a mom or may never be one, my life incomplete. What that also does is alienate our friendship, because as a non-mom, I cannot say anything credible about parenting and as a mom, they have temporarily lost their connection to the non-kid world they were once a part of. I am happy for them, but do I miss them.

There are a few moms though, who don’t always talk about children. And that’s the kind of woman I truly respect, because she gets that motherhood is only one (albeit major) part of a woman’s life and that it may not be for everyone.